Church clothes
More Christmas Church clothes
Here is what we have been up to lately :0)
Wishing you a blessed holiday season!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
A Very Carr Christmas
Julie and I made a gingerbread house!!!
Church clothes
More Christmas Church clothes
Here is what we have been up to lately :0)
Wishing you a blessed holiday season!!!
Church clothes
More Christmas Church clothes
Here is what we have been up to lately :0)
Wishing you a blessed holiday season!!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Faithful Fridays
Here it is, the post about my hearing loss! Many of you who grew up with me or who already know about my journey can skip this post!
I have decided to write this mainly for journaling purposes, and for my bloggy friends who may know, not know, or have questions about it. In the last 5-6 years or so, my hearing loss has become a very private issue for me. I am not really sure why, but I just don't talk about it anymore. This is strange/new for me b/c growing up I was incredibly open about it and shared my story with many people. I think as I have gotten older, I feel like I internalize a lot of my feelings about this and cope in a completely different way. So here is my story:
When I was baby, during one of my many ear infections, my eardrum burst and bled some. My mom looked down and saw some blood coming out of my ear and panicked b/c the doctor's offices were closed, so she took me to the emergency room. A doctor there made a huge mistake and put silver nitrate in my RIGHT ear. The reason this was really bad is because silver nitrate causes scar tissue to grow rapidly and should only be used in large skin wounds. (not to be used in any small openings/orafaces!) My mom knew something was very wrong, because I was in a lot of pain. She called my ear nose and throat doctor that night, and he was so worried he asked my mom to meet him at the office on a sunday morning. He ran some tests and this is when we found out I was completely deaf in my LEFT ear, and the doctor had put silver nitrate in my RIGHT ear. The doc told my mom he wasn't sure what would happen with that right ear, but it didn't look promising. He told my mom we would have to wait and see what happened. So basically this is looking like two bad ears for me!!!
As time went on, my mom, bless her heart, noticed I was exhibiting all the signs of a deaf child. I had my own language that only she could understand. I repeated things over and over and over as if to make whatever was said make sense in my brain. I always wanted to sit 2 inches from the television screen. She said to me once, that she would sit in a room and cover her ears and rock back and forth to try to get a better perspective on what I was going through.
I began speech therapy soon after that, and went to see an audiologist on a very regular basis. I was fitted with a hearing aid, in my right ear (my left ear is nerve damage and can never be fixed, but my right ear is a conductive loss, meaning one of the bones doesn't transmit the soundwaves, so I need tons of amplication to make things louder)I remember having to sit in front of a tape recorder and "learn" all of those sounds I missed that most kids pick up on as part of their daily lives. I had to learn the phone ringing, the doorbell, someone knocking on a door, chicken frying, dogs barking, police sirens, ect... the list went on and on! I remember my sweet mom working with me for hours and making a game out of everything so I could catch up! I started kindergarten on time and went to Harding (parents chose this b/c of carpeted classroom to absorb background/extra noise!) I was never taught sign language because they thought i wouldn't learn speech and only depend on signing (a lot has changed in 20 years about that, now we encourage babies to sign and speak) I was what they called completely "mainstreamed."
On to the summer before my senior year. After a rough spring with an ear infection and a lot of congestion, I lost a lot of hearing. It was like I woke up one day and it was gone! Many of the specialists I grew up seeing were really perplexed and basically had no answers. I was really really frustrated at this point. They basically wished me a nice life and lots of luck! It was then when I realized that this was huge to me. I had lived my whole life taking what little hearing I had for granted. I was terrified of waking up and being completely deaf. what would happen? I was mainstreamed, so i had no resources for living in a "deaf world." I wouldn't fit in anywhere!!! My wonderful parents encouraged me to continue living my life as i normally would, and they would be there to help and support me whatever happened. I went ahead to college, entered nursing school, and met the man of my dreams :)
Trav really encouraged me when we were dating to find out all of my options for my hearing loss. We went to a specialist who said that he could put in a prosthetic ear bone to fix whatever earbone wasn't conducting sound through my right ear, and I wouldn't have to wear a hearing aid ever again!!! The only catch was that there was a 10% chance I could wake up from surgery and be completely deaf. It was a risk. I toyed with the idea for 2 years. And went for it.
The summer before my junior year of college, I had surgery. When the doctor got in there, he found that I had no Stapes bone- that is the one closes to the nerve (there are 3 middle ear bones, the malleus, the incus, and the stapes-in that order)and where my stapes bone should have been, my facial nerve was sort of drooping down, and if the doctor had touched that nerve, I would have been completely paralyzed in my face. So he pulled out and was finished. Just him shining the light on my facial nerve caused me to loose my sense of taste and sense of smell on the right side of my face. the taste sense came back after about 6 months, the sense of smell... I am still waiting :0) When I woke up from surgery, my mom, my dad and travis were all surrounding me crying. my mom mouthed the words (I am a pro at lip reading) and I cried too. for a long time. It was real then. I was going to be this way for forever, and how long would i get to keep what little hearing I have? Hearing aids can only help so much...
I remember feeling frustrated in social situations, and my sweet Travis would be my ears. I used to be embarassed that he had to help me, but now I love him all the more for being so willing to "hear" for me. We truly are a team! He has been so wonderful through this whole journey and I thank God that he is my husband.
So here I am. hearing impaired. Some days I don't ever even think about it. There are other days when it is all I can think about. I prayed to God that I would get to hear my babies voices and what they sound like, He has granted me that. If I wake up tomorrow with no hearing, I know what my babies voices sound like- they are branded in my brain! :0) I am now praying that I can still hear them as teenagers and have long conversations with them. I am faithful that God has a purpose for my hearing loss, the hard part is that I think I haven't let go of it completely and given it over to God because I am afraid of what will happen. I am working on it, and i am thanful for God's patience with me. I am coping better I think, I am not angry anymore about it, or confused. I feel at peace, and I take one day at a time.
I have decided to write this mainly for journaling purposes, and for my bloggy friends who may know, not know, or have questions about it. In the last 5-6 years or so, my hearing loss has become a very private issue for me. I am not really sure why, but I just don't talk about it anymore. This is strange/new for me b/c growing up I was incredibly open about it and shared my story with many people. I think as I have gotten older, I feel like I internalize a lot of my feelings about this and cope in a completely different way. So here is my story:
When I was baby, during one of my many ear infections, my eardrum burst and bled some. My mom looked down and saw some blood coming out of my ear and panicked b/c the doctor's offices were closed, so she took me to the emergency room. A doctor there made a huge mistake and put silver nitrate in my RIGHT ear. The reason this was really bad is because silver nitrate causes scar tissue to grow rapidly and should only be used in large skin wounds. (not to be used in any small openings/orafaces!) My mom knew something was very wrong, because I was in a lot of pain. She called my ear nose and throat doctor that night, and he was so worried he asked my mom to meet him at the office on a sunday morning. He ran some tests and this is when we found out I was completely deaf in my LEFT ear, and the doctor had put silver nitrate in my RIGHT ear. The doc told my mom he wasn't sure what would happen with that right ear, but it didn't look promising. He told my mom we would have to wait and see what happened. So basically this is looking like two bad ears for me!!!
As time went on, my mom, bless her heart, noticed I was exhibiting all the signs of a deaf child. I had my own language that only she could understand. I repeated things over and over and over as if to make whatever was said make sense in my brain. I always wanted to sit 2 inches from the television screen. She said to me once, that she would sit in a room and cover her ears and rock back and forth to try to get a better perspective on what I was going through.
I began speech therapy soon after that, and went to see an audiologist on a very regular basis. I was fitted with a hearing aid, in my right ear (my left ear is nerve damage and can never be fixed, but my right ear is a conductive loss, meaning one of the bones doesn't transmit the soundwaves, so I need tons of amplication to make things louder)I remember having to sit in front of a tape recorder and "learn" all of those sounds I missed that most kids pick up on as part of their daily lives. I had to learn the phone ringing, the doorbell, someone knocking on a door, chicken frying, dogs barking, police sirens, ect... the list went on and on! I remember my sweet mom working with me for hours and making a game out of everything so I could catch up! I started kindergarten on time and went to Harding (parents chose this b/c of carpeted classroom to absorb background/extra noise!) I was never taught sign language because they thought i wouldn't learn speech and only depend on signing (a lot has changed in 20 years about that, now we encourage babies to sign and speak) I was what they called completely "mainstreamed."
On to the summer before my senior year. After a rough spring with an ear infection and a lot of congestion, I lost a lot of hearing. It was like I woke up one day and it was gone! Many of the specialists I grew up seeing were really perplexed and basically had no answers. I was really really frustrated at this point. They basically wished me a nice life and lots of luck! It was then when I realized that this was huge to me. I had lived my whole life taking what little hearing I had for granted. I was terrified of waking up and being completely deaf. what would happen? I was mainstreamed, so i had no resources for living in a "deaf world." I wouldn't fit in anywhere!!! My wonderful parents encouraged me to continue living my life as i normally would, and they would be there to help and support me whatever happened. I went ahead to college, entered nursing school, and met the man of my dreams :)
Trav really encouraged me when we were dating to find out all of my options for my hearing loss. We went to a specialist who said that he could put in a prosthetic ear bone to fix whatever earbone wasn't conducting sound through my right ear, and I wouldn't have to wear a hearing aid ever again!!! The only catch was that there was a 10% chance I could wake up from surgery and be completely deaf. It was a risk. I toyed with the idea for 2 years. And went for it.
The summer before my junior year of college, I had surgery. When the doctor got in there, he found that I had no Stapes bone- that is the one closes to the nerve (there are 3 middle ear bones, the malleus, the incus, and the stapes-in that order)and where my stapes bone should have been, my facial nerve was sort of drooping down, and if the doctor had touched that nerve, I would have been completely paralyzed in my face. So he pulled out and was finished. Just him shining the light on my facial nerve caused me to loose my sense of taste and sense of smell on the right side of my face. the taste sense came back after about 6 months, the sense of smell... I am still waiting :0) When I woke up from surgery, my mom, my dad and travis were all surrounding me crying. my mom mouthed the words (I am a pro at lip reading) and I cried too. for a long time. It was real then. I was going to be this way for forever, and how long would i get to keep what little hearing I have? Hearing aids can only help so much...
I remember feeling frustrated in social situations, and my sweet Travis would be my ears. I used to be embarassed that he had to help me, but now I love him all the more for being so willing to "hear" for me. We truly are a team! He has been so wonderful through this whole journey and I thank God that he is my husband.
So here I am. hearing impaired. Some days I don't ever even think about it. There are other days when it is all I can think about. I prayed to God that I would get to hear my babies voices and what they sound like, He has granted me that. If I wake up tomorrow with no hearing, I know what my babies voices sound like- they are branded in my brain! :0) I am now praying that I can still hear them as teenagers and have long conversations with them. I am faithful that God has a purpose for my hearing loss, the hard part is that I think I haven't let go of it completely and given it over to God because I am afraid of what will happen. I am working on it, and i am thanful for God's patience with me. I am coping better I think, I am not angry anymore about it, or confused. I feel at peace, and I take one day at a time.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Christmas Jammies
I have started the tradition every year to have matching PJ's for the kids! I couldn't find any really cute gender neutral this year, so I found the same print with different color back ground. We had a blast putting up our christmas tree, both kids helped :0) It has been so fun seeing christmas in Julie's eyes, it is so magical and exciting! Logan is still a little young to understand completely what is going on, but he gets really excited with Julie and they are so cute to watch. Happy Holidays!!!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Wonderful Wednesdays...
Gimme Kiss Logan!!!!
**Hugs**
Cheese mom! :0)
Please note: Rare photo opportunity!!!! The kids were being so sweet with eachother and I grabbed my camera and they were still being sweet even while I was trying to get their picture! I used to advise people not to have their kids as close in age as mine are (about 22 months) because that first year is so hard! But now, I absolutely love that they have eachother. They are playing better and Logan is learning a lot from his SEESEE. (it went from zeezee to seeesee) They warm my heart when they are being sweet to each other. I have to say my favorite thing lately is them holding hands in their carseats! Here is Julie's latest funny:
Yesterday, as I was getting her dressed, I told her we were going christmas shopping for Grammy and Pap. (my mom and dad) Her eyes lit up and she was ready! As we pull up to Bass Pro Shop, Julie says, "mom, this is NOT the Christmas store. It is over by the mall. Why are we going this way?" I explained that we were getting a present for under the tree, and it didn't have to be an all out christmas store to get actual presents for under the christmas tree. She then says, "oh man, I wanted to go to hobby lobby!!!"
**Hugs**
Cheese mom! :0)
Please note: Rare photo opportunity!!!! The kids were being so sweet with eachother and I grabbed my camera and they were still being sweet even while I was trying to get their picture! I used to advise people not to have their kids as close in age as mine are (about 22 months) because that first year is so hard! But now, I absolutely love that they have eachother. They are playing better and Logan is learning a lot from his SEESEE. (it went from zeezee to seeesee) They warm my heart when they are being sweet to each other. I have to say my favorite thing lately is them holding hands in their carseats! Here is Julie's latest funny:
Yesterday, as I was getting her dressed, I told her we were going christmas shopping for Grammy and Pap. (my mom and dad) Her eyes lit up and she was ready! As we pull up to Bass Pro Shop, Julie says, "mom, this is NOT the Christmas store. It is over by the mall. Why are we going this way?" I explained that we were getting a present for under the tree, and it didn't have to be an all out christmas store to get actual presents for under the christmas tree. She then says, "oh man, I wanted to go to hobby lobby!!!"
Saturday, November 15, 2008
My Birthday
I had my birthday last week (the big 28!), and even though i was sick on the actual day, it was still wonderful because I have the most amazing hubby, parents and friends ever! So here are 28 random things that you may not know about me.
1. I was born November 13th at 10:07 a.m. to Rick and Pam Logan
2. I have been told my whole life that I am a child of God- thanks mom :0)
3. I will always be daddy's little girl and mommy's little angel
4. I have negative associations with elementary school- it was such an awkward time in my life!!!
5. I have allergies-like I am allergic to EVERYTHING! haa haa!
6. I have asthma
7. I have had a near death experience
8. I am hearing impaired, completely deaf in my left ear, and I wear a hearing aid in my right ear- (this is another post for another day :0)
9. I was a cheerleader in high school
10.I was a tumbler on my cheerleading squad
11. I cannot dance well-hence why I was always in the back or tumbling during the dance routines in cheerleading! Haaa haa!
12. I wear glasses/contacts
13. I love to sleep in long johns
14. I actually enjoy duck hunting with my daddy
15. as a child, I went to church with Justin Timberlake- he was the nerdy kid that ate the play dough, and no i didn't really like him then!!!
16. I require at LEAST nine hours of sleep to function, and prefer to get 10 hours
17. I have high cholesterol- 230 last time it was checked! (yes i keep an eye on it)
18. I am a Registered Nurse with a Bachelors degree-worked darn hard for it!!!
19. I only do Pediatric nursing
20. I love running with a passion
21. I love to shop, but seriously what girl doesn't?!
22. I am an AVID reader, I have read a 400 page book in one night!
23. I am very afraid of spiders
24. I am only child-and yes I love being an only child, my parents are my best friends!!!
25. I dye my hair brown.
26. I do NOT do the finances at our house. I would rather not know...
27. I have the most amazing children and consider them the most awesome blessing I have ever received from God!!!
28. I have an amazing husband that continues to bless me in our marriage- he keeps me grounded, loves me with all his heart, tells me so often, is my main support in all I do! AND I love him with all of my heart!
The Wedding
Mommy and Julie in our pretty dresses!
The Princess getting a lot of attention
Logan (my sweet baby boy)
Julie and Grandma Bonnie
Julie and I had the honor of being in Justin (my cousin) and Kristen's wedding! They are the sweetest couple and we wish them the best, we love you!
So here are the pics as requested!!! The wedding was beautiful, and after lots of bribing and coaxing, Julie walked down the aisle!!! She was such a beautiful flower girl, and I was so proud of her for being a big girl and walking down that aisle by herself even when she wasn't feeling good! (she was sick with the stomach bug 2 days earlier) Julie had a BLAST dancing at the reception and thoroughly enjoyed the wedding cake :0)
The Princess getting a lot of attention
Logan (my sweet baby boy)
Julie and Grandma Bonnie
Julie and I had the honor of being in Justin (my cousin) and Kristen's wedding! They are the sweetest couple and we wish them the best, we love you!
So here are the pics as requested!!! The wedding was beautiful, and after lots of bribing and coaxing, Julie walked down the aisle!!! She was such a beautiful flower girl, and I was so proud of her for being a big girl and walking down that aisle by herself even when she wasn't feeling good! (she was sick with the stomach bug 2 days earlier) Julie had a BLAST dancing at the reception and thoroughly enjoyed the wedding cake :0)
Monday, November 10, 2008
He's 2!!!
Eating his birthday cupcake
Mommy and Julie at lunch
Look mom, I put my trains together!
Sweet Julie telling Logan happy birthday!
This is Logan's cheese face!
Logan turned 2 on Saturday! We had his Lightening McQueen birthday party at our house on sunday because Julie and I were in a wedding on saturday! The pictures are from our day sunday. He got so many wonderful new toys and presents, He loves his Harold the Helicopter(from Thomas the Train) the pack of matchbox cars, his tonka airplanes, and his caterpiller dumptruck the best(it the loudest-hee hee)
I must admit that I am in shock that 2 years has flown by so quickly! We have had so much fun getting to know his sweet personality. I cannot begin to express how much I love this little boy! He is growing up so fast!(***Sniff***) He has filled all of our lives with such joy with his sweet grins and soft pats and hugs. He is the most affectionate child ever, and we are so thankful for his sweet spirit. We love you Logan!
Mommy and Julie at lunch
Look mom, I put my trains together!
Sweet Julie telling Logan happy birthday!
This is Logan's cheese face!
Logan turned 2 on Saturday! We had his Lightening McQueen birthday party at our house on sunday because Julie and I were in a wedding on saturday! The pictures are from our day sunday. He got so many wonderful new toys and presents, He loves his Harold the Helicopter(from Thomas the Train) the pack of matchbox cars, his tonka airplanes, and his caterpiller dumptruck the best(it the loudest-hee hee)
I must admit that I am in shock that 2 years has flown by so quickly! We have had so much fun getting to know his sweet personality. I cannot begin to express how much I love this little boy! He is growing up so fast!(***Sniff***) He has filled all of our lives with such joy with his sweet grins and soft pats and hugs. He is the most affectionate child ever, and we are so thankful for his sweet spirit. We love you Logan!
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